The Year in Review & Goals for 2008

I first wanted to comment on how Christmas went at my parents house. No major fights broke out with my sister but she did snub my husband and ignored him most of the night. Her boyfriend was with us on Christmas Eve and he blatantly snubbed both me my husband and the kids the entire evening. I wished him a Merry Christmas because he wasnt speaking to me and I wanted to be the better person. He didnt really respond. My husband went to shake his hand and he turned and walked away from him. Nice guy hey? Her boyfriend also was supposed to come over on Christmas night and called in the middle of dinner to tell her that he wasnt coming. My sister was obviously upset with him and left the room to talk with him on her cell phone. She later told my Mom that she didnt know what his problem was. I have an opinion about what I think is happening and allow me a moment to explain. My sister has been with him for almost 9.5 years and he is younger than her (he was born in Jan 1980 and she in Oct 1977). When my son was born in 2002 they were together and I thought they were going to be getting married and I chose them to be his Godparents when he was baptized. I talked to my sister before I did this to make sure they were serious about marriage otherwise I wouldnt have chosen him to be his Godfather. Now for the past few years all I have been hearing from my sister is how she doesnt want to get married or have kids. I thought the reason for this was because her boyfriends Dad was terminally ill and dying of prostate cancer. He recently died a few months ago and things have gotten worse between them. My theory is that he doesnt want to marry her because she is a narcissistic controlling person incapable of caring for anyone other than herself and he really got a chance to see her true colors when I was sick and what she did to me. Maybe he is saying to himself, "Do I want a wife who is going to treat people this way, the way she treated her own sister when she was going through cancer treatment, surgery and chemo?" Maybe my sister feels sorry for him that he has no parents anymore and is basically alone. I cant figure them out. They have had a strange relationship from the very beginning. What makes me mad is my Dad is always making fun of how my husband can love me and makes sarcastic comments on it all the time. For some reason he thinks that my husband is "whipped" which he most certainly is not. If anyone is whipped and needs to be made fun of its my sister and her "whipped" boyfriend. Why cant he make fun of them? I've been with my husband since 1996 and we got married in 1998. He has been through hell with me and we have had our share of challenges and bumps in our marriage but we got through them. Right now we are in a great place and I cant be happier. Well, if I had a nice vacation alone with him a few days then I could be a little bit happier! Anyway, I dont know whats up with my sister and her boyfriend but she should be thinking of how much she sacrificed to care for her boyfriends Dad when I needed her to help me (and she did offer to help because she was out of work at the time and continued to be out of work the entire summer I was going through chemo and had my surgeries) and how that is time not only wasted but in the process she destroyed our relationship for someone she isnt even going to marry? Yup, its a bit confusing to say the least but on to my review of 2007.

2007 for me started out OK. The anniversary or first Cancerversary as I call it, of my breast cancer diagnosis came on February 23rd along with leg pain that was bothering me near my sciatic nerve in my left leg. I didnt think to much of it because my pain specialist seems to think I have fibromialgia and I attribute a lot of my aches and pains to that. I had my nipple reconstruction in March that went really well and I couldnt be happier with the results, especially after the nipple tatoos were done. In May I had a PET Scan that showed I had a tumor growing on my sciatic nerve. I got the run around from a Dr that I was referred to who specialized in what I had. I later found out that he never did this type of surgery before and I had a blow up with him on the phone. He was an egotistical asshole that had a horrendous bedside manner and seemed to only care about the almighty dollar. After I found a well qualified Dr who had experience with these types of tumors and removing them I was pleased and set up a surgery day (why couldnt this asshole Dr tell me that there was another Dr in the SAME PRACTICE that did this surgery before???) for June. He told me that there were no guarantees when he removed the tumor and that it might be cancer. They wouldnt know until the biopsy and path reports after the tumor was removed. I was more than nervous but my knitting and beading were there to calm and center me. What I would have done if I didnt have it I dont know. I would definitely lose my mind to say the least if I wasnt able to knit or bead.

I had the surgery in June and the tumor removed wasnt what they thought. It was a tino-synovial giant cell tumor which is not normally found on a nerve. The best news was that it was benign and not cancerous. I was so happy about that but recovery from the surgery which severed my sciatic nerve in a few places was painful and difficult to say the least. I still have issues with spasming of the muscles around the incsision area and it has just been recently controlled with a new pain medication which makes it easier for me to get up in the morning and do activities of daily living.

After that surgery I continued to go to occupational therapy for my lymphedema. The lymphedema was under control but my hand and the pain I was experiencing was getting worse every day. There were times I was unable to knit or bead and would force myself because its how I kept sane. Finally, after months of pain and different treatments I went to see an orthopedic surgeon who told me that it was carpal tunnel (which I already knew since I had it in my right hand in 1999) and that he would do the surgery after Thanksgiving. I was so happy and never looked forward to a surgery as I looked forward to this one because it would give me the use of my hand back and I could do the things I loved again. I cried after leaving the surgeons out of pure happiness that it was going to get better.

After Thanksgiving I had my carpal tunnel release surgery and I knew right away that the surgery worked. I was able to feel my fingers when the anesthesia wore off and it was feeling without pins and needles! I started to crochet first because it was easier to do with a cast on and then I knitted. It was very difficult to get gauge because I was unable to hold adequate tension on the yarn but I was knitting without pain and thats all that mattered to me!

LAST YEARS GOALS

1) Start going to the gym again and losing the weight I gained during chemo. I DIDNT DO THIS BECAUSE OF MY LEG AND THE PAIN I WAS HAVING. AFTER MY SURGERY IT WAS DIFFICULT TO GO TO THE GYM. I AM NOT MAKING EXCUSES FOR MYSELF AND I DO INTEND TO HAVE A GOAL PERTAINING TO THIS IN THE GOALS FOR 2008.

2) Get a tatoo commemorating my journey through breast cancer this past year. I am still trying to decide what kind I want and find someone who will do it where I want it. I CHANGED MY MIND ABOUT THE TATOO THING. I THINK ITS A FAD AND NOW EVERYONE HAS THEM. THE MORE I THINK ABOUT GETTING ONE THE MORE I DONT WANT TO GET ONE. I DONT WANT TO MARK UP MY BODY. MY SCARS ARE MY TATOOS

3) Take more knitting classes to expand my knowledge and skills in knitting. Starting in January I am taking a Dog Cabled Sweater class and I am so excited about it! I TOOK SOME CLASSES WHERE I LEARNED SOME NEW TECHNIQUES BUT I REALIZE THAT I LEARN WELL FROM VIDEOS AND BOOK INSTRUCTION JUST AS WELL AS A CLASS. THE CLASSES ARE GOOD BUT I THINK UNLESS ITS CAT BORDHI OR LUCY NEATBY TEACHING IT THEN I DONT NEED TO TAKE THE CLASS.

4) Go to the STITCHES EAST 2007 knitting conference with my knitting buddies. I DECIDED TO SAVE MY MONEY AND NOT GO. I HEARD FROM A FEW PEOPLE THAT ITS NOT WORTH IT AND TO SAVE MY MONEY TO SPEND ON YARN!

5) Join the BLUEMOON FIBER ARTS SOCK CLUB (which I am pre-registered for) and actually knit the sock patterns they send me even if they are challenging. If I get stuck I can go to my LYS and ask my sock guru (Sally) to help me out. Complete at least one pair a month, at least I said. I JOINED NOT ONLY BMFA BUT WOOLGIRLS SOCK CLUB AND MY LYS'S CLUB WHICH ARE ALL MAKING ME STEP UP MY SOCK KNITITNG. I LOVE TO KNIT SOCKS AND ITS NOT GOING TO CHANGE, EVER! I KNIT ABOUT 10 PAIRS IN 2007. I HAVE A FEW UNFINISHED SINGLES WHICH DONT COUNT BUT I WILL FINISH THEM SOON.

6) Learn to knit a sock toe-up I DID THIS ONE MANY TIMES THANKS TO BLUE MOON AND THE ROCKIN SOCK CLUB

7) Learn short rows in sock knitting. I ALSO DID THIS LEARNING HOW TO DO A SHORT ROW HEEL

8) Make a sweater for my husband and myself I DIDNT DO THIS (YET)

9) Be a kinder and more compassionate person. I ALWAYS TRY TO DO THIS

10) Still try to get a job at a yarn store no matter how many times they say, "we dont need anyone right now." STILL TRYING

11) Go to the dentist (havent been in over 2 years) I FINALLY DID THIS AND I AM SO HAPPY I DID. NO CAVITIES!

12) Garden more. I DIDNT GET TO DO THIS BECAUSE WHATEVER TIME I HAVE FREE I KNIT AND BEAD. MAYBE I AM NOT MEANT TO BE A HARDCORE GARDENER LIKE MY NEIGHBOR.

13) Try to pay bills ontime (this one is a losing battle) THIS HAS GOTTEN BETTER AND I AM DOING WELL WITH THIS

14) I am sure there are more but I cant think right now and I didnt want to end on #13, call me suspicious.

GOALS FOR 2008

1) GET IN SHAPE AND LOSE WEIGHT WITH A HEALTHY DIET AND LIFESTYLE.
2) MAKE A SWEATER FOR BOTH MY HUSBAND, MYSELF AND MY KIDS.
3) MAKE AS MANY SOCKS AS HUMANLY POSSIBLE OR AT LEAST BEAT 10 PAIR WHICH I DID IN 2007
4) HAVE MORE JEWELRY SHOWS AND SELL, SELL, SELL!
5) GO TO CHURCH AND BE A MORE SPIRITUAL PERSON (I KNOW CHURCH HAS NOTHING TO DO WITH BEING A SPIRITUAL PERSON BUT I WOULD LIKE TO ACCOMPLISH BOTH.
6) GO ON VACATION WITH MY FAMILY AND ALONE WITH MY HUSBAND. WE HAVENT BEEN ON ONE SINCE 2004 WHEN WE ALL WENT TO DISNEYWORLD WITH THE KIDS. WE HAVENT BEEN ON AN "ALONE" VACATION SINCE OUR HONEYMOON. SAD, I KNOW.
7) DATE NIGHT AT LEAST 2 TIMES A MONTH WITH MY HUSBAND.
8) I STILL WANT A JOB AT MY LYS AND I AM NOT GIVING UP ON THAT ONE!
9) WALK WITH MY MOM IN THE AVON WALK FOR BREAST CANCER IN OCT 2008 IN NYC AND RAISE MORE MONEY THAN THE YEARS BEFORE.
10) BE MORE INVOLVED WITH MY CHILDRENS SCHOOL ACTIVITIES AND VOLUNTEERING
11) LETTING MY HAIR GROW LONG AGAIN (NOT SURE HOW LONG). IT LOOKS BETTER LONG, I CAN DO MORE WITH IT AND I MISS IT.

I think the main reason I had first decided to keep it short was because of a deep rooted fear I had that I would grow it out to the length I had it when I lost it (32"~yup, it was down to my waist) and I would lose it again. I still have this crazy yet real fear but I cant let that stop me from having my hair in the style I want. I need to be patient and allow it to do its thing. So limited haircuts just to trim the ends and thats it. Last haircut was around October 24th so I already have a jump on it. My daughter is receiving 2 sacraments this year (2008) and I have a couple of weddings to go to so grow hair, grow! Grow so you can cover my big ass! LOL

I'm sure I have more that I cant remember but I wanted to get them down before the end of this year. Sorry there are no pics but I am almost done with a WIP and I promise a few nice pics when I post again.

Not Enough Time in the Day

There is definitely not enough time in the day to do all the things I need to get done before Christmas. I have to still make a few more pieces of jewelry and wrap all the gifts. Yesterday I spent all afternoon working on jewelry gifts. By the time I finished my brain was all out of ideas. I am going to make a few more tonight and tomorrow. Nothing like cutting it close! I cant post any pictures here because certain people read my blog and I dont want to give away any surprises.

In knitting news I am almost done with my second Unoriginal Hat in Fuschia. My daughter is begging me for this hat and it was going to be mine. If she really wants it then I will surprise her with it. I have another 2 skeins of Torino Bulky in a variegated pink/red colorway that I could make another hat with for myself but I am not sure yet what I am going to do. I started another pair of socks with Blue Moon Fiber Arts Rockin' Sock yarn in Christmas Balls after frogging the Monkeys I started in the Irish Dreams colorway from Woolgirl's Sock Club. I am not sure what happened but somewhere I messed up the pattern and I wasnt in the mood to fix it so I frogged it. Yup, thats me. If I was further along then I would have just attempted to fix it but I wasnt that into it anyway and wanted more of a Christmassy (if that's a word) project since I finished my Jingle Bell Rock Socks. The other day I wore them and man were my feet nice and toasty! I washed them by hand after reading how the colors can bleed and fade with the BM yarn and it did a little bit but otherwise the yarn softened up a bit and looks great. I am planning on wearing them on Christmas Day.

On Wednesday my husband and I were walking out of the house and to my surprise there was a package from BM on the ground at my feet! I TOTALLY forgot that there was one last shippment in December for the Rockin' Sock Club and boy was I surprised! I was even more surprised when I opened the package and discovered a gorgeous colorway with a Cat Bordhi pattern. It looks challenging but I like a challenge and especially if its based on her New Pathways socks. Who knows when I will get around to doing it but at least I have completed a few pairs from the 2007 club. There are some people in the club who havent even knitted one pair of socks! I cant imagine spending all that money and not even knitting a pair. I shouldnt talk because I havent knit any socks from my Knitting Central Sock Club yet but thats because I have 2 other sock clubs I AM knitting for! I completed one pair from Woolgirl's Club and am working on another called SPRUCE SPRIGS in honor of Christmas Trees.

Tomorrow and Christmas Day we spend at my parents house and I must admit I am a little nervous about it. If you read any of my past entries from last Christmas then you already know why. My sister causes quite the problems last year and I am worried there is going to be a repeat performance this year. I told my Mom what I thought and she says there wont be a problem but for every time she has said that in regard to my sisters behavior she has been wrong. I warned her that I wont say anything or start any problems unless something is done or said to me first. I will defend myself if necessary. My Mom mentioned on the phone that my sister bought me something expensive and all that jazz. Then she says (as she always does in her defense) that she (my sister) is trying in her own way to make things right with me. Uh, no she's not. I havent even spoken to her since October and I had surgery the end of November. She never even called me after my surgery. If she was trying at all then she would have picked up the phone. I guess thats to hard to do. You have no idea how sick I am of my Mother defending my sisters actions, its hypocritical and I told her that. If it were me behaving this way there is no way in hell my Mother would let ME get away with it. My Mother would certainly have put me in my place by now. I am so sick of the double standard that exsists. I am sure many of you out there with younger siblings reading this know what I mean. You laid the path for them and were the one who got in trouble all the time and then they do the same thing that you would have had your teeth knocked out for and they get away with it. Its bullshit is what it is.

I remember one night my parents were away. I was in college at the time and over my boyfriends house. My sister decided to invite 100 of her closest friends over for a party. I arrived home early and found the house alarm going off and hundreds of teenagers running out of the house in a million different directions with 3 police cars blocking the driveway (the alarm alerts the police when it goes off). I helped my sister clean up the house before my parents came home and found out what happened. I wasnt a tattle tale and didnt say a word to my parents. My great uncle, who lives a few houses down from my parents came over the house a couple of days later asking what happend the other night the alarm went off and what the cops were doing there. Who knows what he thought was happening. My parents had no knowledge of this and were very surprised to say the least at the information my uncle had given them. My sister got into big trouble (grounded for a month-big deal) and I had no part of getting her into trouble which I was very happy about. I never did anything that stupid because I am not stupid enough to have a party on a night my parents just go out to eat and not go away on vacation. Pretty dumb move right but thats my sister, immature as the day she got busted for that party.

This month I was supposed to go see the Oncologist for tests. I am holding off until January because I didnt want any bad news before the holidays. After Christmas I am going to call and set up my appointment for the tests and to see the Dr. You cant blame me for not wanting to go right? I am surprised the Dr didnt just say that he wanted to see me in January instead of December. I went for a PET Scan in October (I think it was October or late September but I can be sure) and I due for a CAT Scan and an MRI. My leg, where I has my tumor removed in June, was bothering me a while back and the pain specialist decided to put me on a daily low dose of a different pain medication and it worked! My leg is feeling much better now. I didnt want to take another medication but I was getting horrible spasms in my thigh muscle every night that would wake me up. The spasms were so bad that it took a few days for the pain to disperse so I had to do something.

Its also almost that time of the year to go over the goals I set for 2007 and the ones I intend to meet for 2008. Thats going to be in my next post along with my Christmas review. Hopefully its a good one boys and girls.

This is a Knitting Blog, right?

This is the magic hand. Its healing well and I am finishing some UFO's. I cant believe I am making progress with my knitting! All I need is the time to knit because right now I am going crazy trying to get some jewelry done for Christmas gifts.

This is our Christmas Tree. It looks real doesnt it? Its not! My Mom gave it to me last year when she bought a new tree that already has lights on it. I need one of those because putting the lights on is the hardest part. My Mom was over the house the day we put the tree up so she put the lights on. The tree can be a bit scratchy so you get cut up quite a bit when putting the lights on.




Rudolph & Clarice Ornament


Every year we seem to collect more and more ornaments. I remember when we put up our first tree together in 1997 and there were hardly any ornaments on it at all. My Nana at that time gave me some money and said, "Go and buy some ornaments for your tree." Thank God she did that because the poor tree that year would have been totally naked!

Now, on to some knitting. This is a knitting blog right? It hasnt seemed like one lately so here are some FO's

Here is the Unoriginal Hat by the Yarn Harlot that I made for my hubby in Torino Bulky. I had to put in an extra repeat because he has a large head and now it fits nicely. I cast on 70 sts instead of 56 sts. Everyone at work asked where he bought it and he told them his wife made it. They couldnt believe it and they all wanted one. One thing I could never do is sell my knitting. Its never going to be a money making thing for me, its not about that. I am not fast enough first of all and I dont want to sell my stuff. If someone wants something bad enough, I'll make it for them. I enjoy making things for people.



Woolgirl's December Sock Club Kit came the other day and I am in love with it! I am going to cast on as soon as possible. I also am signing up for next years club because its such a wonderful sock club. Jen (Woolgirl) gives us so many freebies & surprises you cant believe it. Its up there with the Blue Moon Fiber Arts Rockin' Sock CLub and sometimes I think its even better.


Jingle Bell Rock Sock

There is a story behind these socks and here it is. I started these socks last year and finished only one. The one with the nice stripes is the one thats been waiting for its mate for a year. I started the other one last month and just finsished it last night. There are some distinct differences between the two. One has nice stripes and the other has pooling of the colors. The gauge is a lot looser in the one I just finished because I worked on it with my cast on and wasnt able to apply the tight tension that I usually do with my knitting. I am a tight knitter so when you look at the two together you can see the difference . I dont mind that they are fraternal twins, thats what makes variegated yarn interesting. You cant expect it to behave the way you want.


I am presently working on a few things right now. One of them being another Unoriginal Hat in the same Torino Bulky yarn in a beautiful Fuschia colorway. I am not sure if its going to be for me or my daughter. She keeps saying its hers! LOL.
Then I have Woolgirl's last sock kit "Irish Dreams" that I am making Monkeys out of. I have my husbands two socks in Adriafil yarn on one circular and I am waiting for the book to come out (2 Socks at a Time on one circluar by Melissa Morgan Oakes) to finish them. I pre-ordered it with Borders and I am hoping it comes in soon. I am actually waiting on starting certain socks so I can use this method with them. I havent even started making the socks from the Knitting Central Sock Club. I feel bad about it but I'll get around to it. I think I have to many sock clubs on my plate! Time to catch up.
My favorite Christmas cartoon/special is on right now-Nestor the Christmas Donkey. Its such a cute show and I always cry when I watch it.

Good News

The gastroenterologist called today with all of my husbands results including the biopsies he took the other day. We knew immediately after the 2 tests that he had a severe bleeding ulcer which caused his drop in hematacrit and hemoglobin. Believe me, I saw the pictures the Dr took and I dont know how my husband wasnt in pain. The ulcer I had a few years ago practically had my doubled over in agony and it wasnt even half the size of his. The Dr said because of the location of the ulcer is what made him unable to feel it.

I am so relieved I can even say. I had horrible thoughts of what it was while he was having the tests done. Thoughts of what I went through when they told me that the 2 tumors in my breast was cancer were stuck in my head. When the Dr came out and told me what was going on I felt so relieved. The last thing this family needs is more medical issues!

After reading my post from yesterday and laughing his ass off, my husband reminded me that he was a redhead when he was a kid. Good thing he has a sense of humor.

Obsessed with Life

I havent been obsessed with an TV show in a very long time (since LOST aired last) and I think I can say I am officially obsessed with a TV show. I guess I am more enamoured with an actor and surprise, surprise its not Christian Bale. We already know I am in love with him. The actor I am referring to is Damian Lewis of the NBC show LIFE. He is better known for his role in BAND OF BROTHERS. Everyone who knows me knows I have a thing for red headed, blue eyed men so it was just a matter of time before the official obsession began. I even dated a few redheads in college. Who couldnt love this Ginger haired Steve McQueen esque hunk of (meat) man. Excuse my slip of the tongue there but take a look yourself and you tell me I am wrong. Go ahead, I'll be waiting right here.

Would you like a towel for that drool on your chin?
I wonder if he can knit?
Did I mention he's exactly the same age as me?
Hi honey! (me waving to my husband who reads my blog all the time) I stil have a thing for hazel eyed balding men to so dont you worry. LOL

Hand me that Knitting! (and those beads)

I am officially suture free and able to knit!! I am wearing my brace at times that I need to protect my hand in public or when doing things where I feel I might hurt myself by inadvertently putting weight on it. The Dr said I can do anything that I feel comfortable doing with it except putting weight on my palm. I was able to crochet with the original cast on so thats what I did.

I started a couple of crochet projects. One is a rippleghan that I am making for my living room. The other is a scarf for myself. My husband took me to the yarn store yesterday and picked out yarn to make the Yarn Harlot's Unoriginal Hat. He picked Torino Bulky in Grey for himself and I picked out a variagated pink/red colorway. Everyone who is making them on Ravelry (like 300+ people are making them) say they are a fast knit. I wonder if I can make it using the Magic Loop method? I am not sure about that though.

Finally, there are some pictures for me to post:

My Daughter on Thanksgiving


My Old Man1


My Old Man 2


These are some pieces that I made today and a few that were made before my surgery.

This are two Cloisonne & Crystal Necklaces:


Green Star Necklace and Pink Glass and Crystal Necklace


Green Blown Glass Leaf Necklace


Leopardskin Jasper Fan Necklace


BMFA Mediumweght Yarn: Mesa, Christmas Balls & Count Cluckula


I would love to start a new project with one of these yarns but before I do I have to finish a few.

The other day my husband came with me to my regular Dr. While he was there he checked him out and drew some bloodwork. He was complaining that he wasnt feeling well and was falling asleep while standing up. Believe me, he is falling asleep all the time, even when there is a parents meeting for my daughters religious ed. I thought at first it was just him being overtired and not getting enough rest. He's been working a lot of overtime and his hours are crazy. The Dr called with the results a few days ago and I couldnt believe what he told me. His hematacrit level, which is red blood cell count, was 24 when normal values for a man are around 44. His hemaglobin was also dangerously low. These things mean that hes severely anemic. Anemic enough to warrant a transfusion but thats a last resort because they generally dont like to do that unless its totally necessary. He is scheduled for an upper endoscopy and a colonoscopy tomorrow to see where the bleeding is coming from. The Dr and gastroenterologist seem to think that its a bleeding ulcer. My mind is running through all the bad things it can be because God knows they always happen to us! Enough is enough already. My family deserves a break and I think that if God is testing me in some sort of way that I think I have passed the test by now. Please say a prayer that all goes well for him tomorrow. I will post news as soon as I get it.